Friday, July 31, 2015

Auckland. Back again in three months

So I got back from Auckland a few days ago, it went well I guess im on 3 monthly check up though boo !!!. The last month or so my health has not been good at all I feel like it is gone down dramatically,  my AF has not been good been getting dizzy really bad and my breathing has been shit then there all the fluid thats backing up into my lungs which my furosemide has been up. Caused by a lot of reasons is that I'm very low in iron which is causing a lot of the dizziness and shortness of breath another reason being AF which they can't seem to get under control. They have tried lots of medication but none of that seems to be working. They have put me on Amiodarone this drug has alot of side effects and in the past my doctor has never wanted to put me on it been so young but i have been on it a few times and if you look at the transplant drugs i take it cant be that bad. Auckland are talking about doing an ablation on me
 I personally have never had one on me before but I know my father has had a few and ablation is were pretty common used on HCM (the heart condition I had), so I know all about them as. They put a tube in your heart  and burn a few bits away from the heart, it sounds worse than it really is, and it is meant to help get rid of the AF.

I can really feel my health been Affected physically which is really starting to get me down, the small things we all take for granted are now becoming an effort. Things at walking to my car even walking to the other end of the house on a bad day, putting my washing I am getting shorter breath is kind of ridiculous to be honest, it's really making me feel like history is repeating itself it sounds all too familiar.

I really do hope that this is just a phase and that this ablation and once get my iron back to normal will fix me, but I have no idea what my future holds at the moment I just feel the last six months I have become sicker and sicker until I have got to where I am now. And dont even get me started on the fluid around my lungs.

Thursday, July 23, 2015


So like normal my iron is really low but of late it's been making me feel really really like really bad I can't seem to function well without it, iron is what carries the oxygen around the body so for some with a heart like sine it's really important , it's been making me feel short of breath, dizzy, tried, drained everything in between, my doctor has me on a waiting list to get some iron through the IV as I can't take the pills but like everything else in life I have to wait for it .

It's funny how close low iron symptoms and heart rated ones are very closely related so it's hard to know it it is iron or heart but he wants to get on top of the iron first and once we are done that then he can tell what's iron related and what's heart issues, I have made an appointment with my doctor for tomorrow though to see if there anything she can do in between because it's really getting me down I can't function like this and on top of that I'm meant to be on practicum so it makes it worst that I can't be on my best performance why does my health always get in the way of my life arr 

Tried of fighting my own body

TThe I'm so over it, it been my bad health. My health has just gone down hill a lot latly. In the last year and has gone downhill a lot but in the last month or so I feel like it's gone downhill even more dramatically. Shortness of breath, dizziness, tired, fast heart rates, AF, too much fluid you name it i've been having the issue.

I feel like I'm at the point where I'm not sick enough not to work but im sick enough that when I do work it's hard really hard, trying to function through a normal day take so much more effort in people around me even realise, and on top of that trying to hide it from the outside world as I don't want to look like that person, a person who can walk to the car without running out of with all that person who can't walk up a flight of stairs without getting dizzy, it's really hard and it's so frustrating.  

My day starts off I walk to my car I get my car I have to sit there and catch my breath, I open the gate go back to my car and then catch my breath again I drive out the gate back to my car to catch my breath again I drive to work I get out of my car I walk to the meal room where I have to catch my breath again I then walk to my work place and again I catch my breath agai. This continues throughout the day three meal breaks means three times walking to the meal room to catch my breath it mean three times walking back from the meal room again and catching my breath again. Catching my breath throughout the day and at the end of the day walking to my car and catching my breath again. Every time I have to stop to get my breath it's not very long 30 seconds to a minute but it's just so hard that I can't just can't do everything like a normal person without having to stop and catch my breath of the time,  if I'm not catching my breath I'm stopping because im dizzy and don't want to pass out. 

Of late i've been wondering if my study is a waste of time by the time I finish my degree I say my healthy not gonna be any better if anything worse and I worry by then will I be too sick to even use my degree, I'm on my practicum at the moment and I'm really struggling caring the babies it's putting a lot of strain on me and I sometimes think if I can't do that what is the point of my study. Just working five days a week has been really hard on me,  my body is ready to just give up.