Thursday, April 25, 2013

Lucky !!

Just gonna do a rant i left a little rant on Facebook but then decided thats not the place for it so took it now , i get so many people telling me how lucky i am and get don't get my wrong i agree I'm alive and barry give me his heart how lucky is that, but you know i would have been even more luckier if i didn't need the heart transplant in the first place and i was born health, and that my life span i was given wasn't 15-20 years, to me that seems like ages better then the year or less to live i was given when i was sick, iv accept that theres a good chance i will die young and it doesn't bother me any more cos if i get to 40 that seems like ages to me but it saddens me that my mother or father might have to berry there own child , it would break there heart and that i wouldn't get to see my nephew grow up love that boy to bits or i wont get to enjoy many more xmas my my older sister all the small thing.
When me and dad went to the Anzac service today on the way back we were talking about him getting old and i said to him "at least i wont have to get old like you" was meant to be a bit of fun but i saw the way his heart nearly broke and he just said back "you better not go before me a father should be allowed to berry there own child "

I use to dream what i would have done if i was born healthy would i have done better in school then i did even that i found school ard maybe i would have ad that extra more energy that i never had before that it would have been more easer maybe giving it more time and effect with out been sick tried or in hospital all the time , just maybe i would have tried to make some think of my self before now