Friday, February 14, 2014

I'm in Avril Fibrillation

So the good news is there a good reason for my shitty breath I'm in AF and bad new is just that I'm in AF . So I went to see my GP about my shitty as breathing cos I could feel sumthing wasn't right and when I was liying in bed the other night I felt like I was in AF and then I was like nah can't be and flagged it of, I got my father to take my pulse the day and he thought I was in AF too but I was like nah he's wrong he doesn't know what he's on about, I should have listen I mean he does have AF issues but no I was like no I'm been in AF before I know what it feels like and no I'm not in it, I can't be. Anyway so I went to the doctor told her how bad my breathing had got little things like walking to the other end of the house I was getting short of breath, she took my pulse and sure enough I was in AF .  

So she sent me up to the hospital, so they did a ECG and confident it was AF so as I was in AF I had to be put on blood thinner as you are at high risk of stroke when you are in AF so they started me on a blood thinner it's a new one though unlike warfine you don't have to have blood tests it's called dabigitran which I'm kind of happy there not blood test it's not that I scared of needles or anything like that I just always forget to do my blood test I have like 3 blood forms sitting at home to do my tac level but I just get busy and life gets in the way . 
Any way sine I was in AF I would have loved them just to shock me back into a normal rythem and send me on my way but no they never do it the easy way do that , 
So they have started me on a new Beta blocker called sotalol and taken me off metoprolo so the plan is that hopefully the sotalol can drop my heart rate and if I'm lucky put me back into a normal rhythm I don't have much hope for it though as I'm still sitting in the 100's which would be fine if I wasent in AF but in AF it's just not fun and there no chance of me dropping out of AF when my heart is racing so much . So they keeped me in for a night gave me a choice stay in till they have the heart right or just cum bak for ECG and see her that way intill they can get the heart right.
Any way I go back up to the hospital on  Monday for a ECG and see whats my heart is doing then it's probable a matter of just "fine turning" my meds to see if they can get it low enough to be liveable. 
So when I go upto Auckland in April if I'm still in AF she will look at shocking me back so she better don't wont to be in AF .
Ever time be4 transplant when they tried taking me out of AF with meds it never worked but who know it might be different with a different heart . 

Monday, February 10, 2014

Im slowly deteriorating

My health is slowly deteriorating I can feel it, like today my ankels were Quite swollen I could tell cos my shoes where a bit tight on me, and all day I can feel my heart pounding and I took my pulse and it was 132 to which is pretty high for me now sine I'm on 95 mg for Beta blocker , and my breathing has just been horrible very short of breath very easily and at one time I was just sitting there and I started to get short of breath, I even thought about going up to the hospital today that's how shit I felt but my emotional well been can't take another doctor telling me no that's not whats wrong with you this is. There stupid doctors forget that every time some one comes up with something different wrong with me I'm not just another sick person that will get better and they will move on iv been in and out of hospital my whole life it effects my emotional self been told something different every time. 

So I was in hospital last week I went in cos I felt like my shortness of breath has been really bad latly, so they did all there test and bloods as they do most of it was just the same old stuff they do every time bloods, ECG, ECGO ect but then I got to see this really good doctor he wasent good cos he knew a lot he was good because he was so honest and told me what he knew and told me what he didn't know and I would have to wait for Auckland and he even told me I'm probable going to here lots of different theory's form different doctors, but the basic of it is that my VF is not pumping as well any more and it's effecting the out flow of the blood and that the heart a mussel looks a bit thinker then it should he said it looks a bit like HCM ( what I had before transplant)  so that's not very good, and he said that depending on how much fluid on board I have can effect my shortness of breath , so that's the 411 of it but I need to see Auckland to get any good answers to know for sure, I don't think there much they can do for it , but iv decided not to believe any doctor in till I hear it from Auckland them self .


Saturday, February 1, 2014

Sick becoming normal

I started to make my bed tonight and I started to get short of breath which is now a normal thing for me getting short of breath of small things, I sat down and thought about it when it happened that I didn't really pay attention to it and just treated it as "normal" and I started to think when did things like shortness of breath and swollen ankels sudden become normal again to me.

It's all started in sept last year when I started getting shortness of breath and was admitted to the hospital for it and that was when they told me I was having issues with my LV not that any one would answer any of my question about it and told me I was in heart failure now here I am months later getting shortness of breath on a regular basis and swollen ankle and I'm back to where I was before transplant  in the way that iv got use to been sick again that I don't think about it if I run out of breath get swollen ankels get chest pain or feel dizzy is that really going to be my life again,my transplant team wont answer any of questions Intill my apointment as they wont to do it face to face which I understand  so I don't know the details of my health yet but it sure has me wondering.
Im now popping the same amount of beta blocker that I took before transplant and I'm just about on the same amount of furosemide that I was before transplant that I'm getting shortness of breath, dizzy ness , swollen ankels it really make me wonder I am really going to just go down the same truck again that I did before transplant slowly get sicker and sicker intill I'm so sick that I can't have a life again what a waste of even having a transplant if that's what it's going to come to again . 

I some wish at times that I was not delt this hand of fate it would have been nice to just be that health kid like everyone else