Saturday, February 1, 2014

Sick becoming normal

I started to make my bed tonight and I started to get short of breath which is now a normal thing for me getting short of breath of small things, I sat down and thought about it when it happened that I didn't really pay attention to it and just treated it as "normal" and I started to think when did things like shortness of breath and swollen ankels sudden become normal again to me.

It's all started in sept last year when I started getting shortness of breath and was admitted to the hospital for it and that was when they told me I was having issues with my LV not that any one would answer any of my question about it and told me I was in heart failure now here I am months later getting shortness of breath on a regular basis and swollen ankle and I'm back to where I was before transplant  in the way that iv got use to been sick again that I don't think about it if I run out of breath get swollen ankels get chest pain or feel dizzy is that really going to be my life again,my transplant team wont answer any of questions Intill my apointment as they wont to do it face to face which I understand  so I don't know the details of my health yet but it sure has me wondering.
Im now popping the same amount of beta blocker that I took before transplant and I'm just about on the same amount of furosemide that I was before transplant that I'm getting shortness of breath, dizzy ness , swollen ankels it really make me wonder I am really going to just go down the same truck again that I did before transplant slowly get sicker and sicker intill I'm so sick that I can't have a life again what a waste of even having a transplant if that's what it's going to come to again . 

I some wish at times that I was not delt this hand of fate it would have been nice to just be that health kid like everyone else 

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