Thursday, July 25, 2013

Pain killers and Life

Painkillers my weakness my whole if i had a issue the answer was always pop a pill its all iv know , i was sitting there trying to think back to were it all started with me and my painkillers addition began if you could even call it that , i take painkillers because i am in pain and iv felt real pain and i dont wont to feel like that again , but what kind of person take 3 to 4 tramadol in one go just for a slight pain, iv taken pain killers so long that one or two or three just doesn't feel like it does the job any more so i have to keep taking more and more just to do the job.

I started taking painkillers a few years before my transplant about 6 years ago now and i cant even remember what i first got given them for i first started of with codeine and got a taste for it on how well it worked and it could take my pain away then i was given tramadol another time for sum think else, on top of taking the pain away they would make me sleepy and i loved it. when i sleepy cos when i sleeped  i couldn't feel pain and two when i was a sleep i forgot about been sick i was never sick in my dreams i was a health young person doing everything and anything i wonted and that where it al began.

Then of course came my transplant and i was given a taste of even harder painkillers and don't get me wrong right though this whole time i was taking pain killers for genuine pain it was not to get all high or anything like that and as time went along i had to take more and more pain killers just for them to be able to work for them to take the pain away , and here i am today getting pain killers mainly tramadol on tap due to my back pain witch is real pain i take pain killers like there no tomorrow i do have a bad back that's the reason the doctor gives me pain killers but i use them for everything and anything and i don't think i could go without pain killers all together cos been in pain is not fun but were is the limit is a good question i should be asking my self .
As i wont to work with kids iv made the choice i need to cut down on the pain killers not stop them cos i do need them but be able to know when enough is enough 

As for life i finished and passed my pre degree course and have been on holiday and  i started my early childhood course next week bit nervous but im going to put my mind to it and do it if its the last thing i do, they say you can do anything if you put ur mind to it right ?