Tuesday, November 25, 2014

I'm official sick of it

I'm officially sick of been sick it just keeping getting worst and worst, I'm talking about my heart hear having lots of AF issues lots of breathing issues can't go any where without running out of breath and in the last few months it's gonna worst, I blame the AF. 

Everything and anything takes effect lots of breath and energy. When I go to work walking from my car to work I have to stop so many times just to catch my breath and it's not even that far. Then I finally get into work I have to stand there pretending I'm doing something so I don't look like an idiot and so my boss doesent get upset at me for standing there and doing nothing, when really all I wanted is a min or so to catch my breath. Then there everything in between that every time I run out of breath I have to yet again try look busy so again I don't look like an idiot catching my breath . Pulling out my phone in public is always a good one I look busy and people don't took at me funny when I stop . You know what it would just be easier if people didn't steer at me for stopping . 

I'm so over it same days I just feel like going nah fuck it, I'm over this medical shit , u amazing pills, tests and all the rest havent fixed me I'm still can't go anywhere without having to catch breath , I hold fuild on board I thought this transplant is meant to be my saving grace so why do I feel like I'm sick again . 
I'm sick of fighting some days I do really just feel like giving up .