Thursday, November 24, 2011

written when i was just put on the list for a heart

This was written when i had been on the tranplan list 20 days, its amazing the differents im healthy ,happy and i can live normal life now

My heart is in heart failture and i can feel it, my body feel broken its been through so much and it keeps fighting my body is just geting weaker and weaker it knows that somethink is wrong.
The vomiting has started up again, my body is slowly dieing,
It feels like death i slow motion its really scary.
I have now been waitig for 20 days for a heart, im waiting for someone else to die it dosent seem right, you cat plan death.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bugs/flus and a good old rant

I have enough flu like normall, im gonna bitch post here
Iv had so many flu, colds this yearr and they just keep cummin and its summer i still have one,
Im so over this low immum system ball shit stay way from this or that or you will get sick, anit it bad enought i have to deal with all my other medical bull shit and im out of sick leave .

I alway wondered what my life would be like if i wasent born with a bad heart, it would be so different i woulent have been in and out of hospital all the time and feeling sick all the time,maybe i would have put more effect in at school and maybe i would have gone off and studied, when all my friends where of at uni studing i was at home to sick to even work,

Im so greatffull for this heart transplant and that im not sick any more but i  do get days, its like why me !! , why was i the one who had ot wastie 21 years of my life not getting as much out of life as everyone else,  i could live my life the way i wont to not have to worry about my "big book of rules"