Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Over it !!!

I'm so over it, over all this got dam health stuff!!! If you one of these people who want to tell me how grateful I should be bla bla just leave now now cos of course I am grateful but I shouldn't have to explain to someone that I'm greatful if u know me well enough you know I am with my heart and soul but god dam it after all that I have been thought I am allowed I rant .

I am sick of getting short of breath,I want to be able to keep up with my friends and not having to turn down things because I know I want keep up and I don't want them to have to wait for me all the time, thing I want to do but I can't cos my long , breathing can't take it, I just want to be free from it. I'm sick of my chest been full of fluid , I want a clear cheats, I dream of the day I don't have a couch. I want to be able to walk up some god dam stairs without feeling like I'm gonna do pass out I'm sick of been dizzy, walking down the street and you have to quickly grad on to something so you want fall over and in the way that the world can't tell either , in the supermarket trying to hide the fact that your body is using all the stretch it has to just stay standing. You whole life because a Challenge. 

I want those first great years I had after transplant not this bullshit, I want to go out and live my life with not having there's issues in the way , so shortness of breath, dizziness , fluid in the chest are only small issues but they effect my life in do many ways that it's hard to even explain 

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